the first time someone informed me of what "dirty rags" translated to in the Bible, it freaked me out.
and i felt really bad about all i was trying to do.
i was one of those kids who liked to work hard & make others proud.
all-american.
good work ethic.
and then i find out that God doesn't care about that stuff.
shoot.
i wanted so badly to win His favor with my smart thinkin', elbow grease, & lovableness,
but i come find out He just wanted me to LET GO of my need to earn His favor.
because i already have it.
but how could that be?
and why was it that when i DID try to win Him over things got all the more difficult?
it's taken me a lot of tries --
probably in the triple digits by now --
to not try.
today, i caught myself coming up with yet another plan to make God like me & make myself more usable for Him.
the dirty rags were piling up.
yet He's so patient, isn't He?
my prayer is that i let go of my need to act & earn,
and that i let my loving God direct me into the work He has for me.
that i act in His guidance & grace, not my own drive.
at some point, i gotta admit it:
i'm no good when i go in with my own agenda.
i guess i might as well make that confession today.
