upgrading dream 1.0

i don't know why i don't get it.
i've gone through it multiple times each year,
but i forget the protocol every time.

God gives me a dream.
i get excited.
i started to dream with this dream.

and this is where i go wrong.

i cling to the dream.
God asks for it back.
i tell him i want to figure it out first, that i have some great ideas.
He asks for it back.
i say no.
He waits patiently & keeps success from flowing to me.
i get frustrated because He gave me a dream & isn't coming through for me.
He waits patiently.
i get angry & cry & throw tantrums asking why He isn't blessing me.
He waits patiently.
i realize He's still asking for the dream back.

and this is where is where i go right.

i give it back.
He works within me & with the dream.
He gives it back to me bigger & better.
and i'm more able to handle it & be part of making it what it's meant to be:
His, not mine.

so dream 1.0 is really just an alpha.
i try to make it a beta.
God wants to launch it, but He wants it to be fully functional:
dream 2.0.

i'm praying that He'll help me to delete steps from the places i go wrong.
i'm praying that He'll help me give up dream 1.0 & trust Him with the process.

day 30

we're 1/3 of the way through.
33.3333333333333...%
but that 1/3 is just when it comes to time, not to the actual goal.

we prayerfully set the goal of raising $80,000 in 90 days.
the purposes of this goal were to help us:

• get focused on the Lord
• get out of debt
• get giving to some important causes.

of course, we realize $80,000 isn't petty cash.
so we have been working daily to create new opportunities for cash flow & savings.

we've done well with the savings part.
cash flow is a bit more challenging.

but every morning, we pray that God will lead us in this goal,
that we will be intentional & work together with Him to make something happen much bigger than us.
we can't do this on our own, and we don't want to.

there is a log of all our progress & regress each day since we started.
it's interesting to see how far we've come according to this log.
i write much more, and bob is much more serious about filming & teaching.
we don't have cable, and we hardly watch TV.
eating out is a rare occasion, and i'm learning [slowly] how to cook.

we don't just dream now -- we act.

it must be clarified here:
we're not trying to get out of debt so we can be rich.
it's more of the idea of not serving 2 masters,
and right now the monster comprised of student loans, mortgage, & bills is quite our slave-driver.

so we're giving back the reins to our true & good Master,
and we're saying,
"You own everything; work in us in this situation so we can help others in theirs."

a prayer

God, morph me.

the foot bath

i am fascinated by the thought of Jesus washing feet.
regardless of cultural tradition & symbolism, i just love that this Guy cared SO MUCH about the other guys He hung out with that He took on one of the stinkiest parts of the male body.
that is LOVE.

but here's the kicker --
He tells them that He has to wash all their feet to include them in what He was doing.
(i'm sure judas was plenty perturbed by that thought.)
see, Jesus wanted them to feel what it is like to be honored by one who does not need to do so.

because that was their assignment after He left.

in reading this story, it has nudged me to think about ways i can wash others' feet.
i'm not all that into the act of it, so i'm sticking with the symbolism of it:
showing humble love & respect toward another.
it's a bit more personal than tossing an extra $1 into the make-a-wish jar at the store.

so i guess i'm on a quest to become a human foot bath.