days #26-#30

this week has been busy & full of life lessons.

i've traveled to & from tucson (soon to be to & from again),

assisted bob in editing our film to submit to a film festival,

attempted to actually get some work done at the office,

and engaged in a work activity that involved downtown PHX & the light rail.

that last one is what i want to really examine right now.

the concept of this event was a photo collage of an adventure with coworkers.

the purpose of it was to get us out of the office & learning about each other.

but that doesn't mean i wasn't partially dreading it.

my comfort zone is somewhat nebulous, but there is a key trait:

i act alone.

pushing my boundaries is a lot easier when i don't have someone there pushing them with me.

and this event forced me to push my boundaries with 5 people i barely know in a teamwork event.

can i tell you a secret?

it was great.

in my cynical college-student days,

i would've referred to this as mandated fun.

that day, though, i actually got it.

riding on the light rail, racing from museum to library,

i felt like i was expanding.

(it was probably just my comfort zone that was shape-shifting, but i could feel myself going along with it.)

passion is messy, and it must not be assigned parameters.

when i sit in a comfort zone of my own design with fences to keep me inside,

i miss out on the energy right outside it.

if i keep on doing what i've done before,

i'll just keep creating what i've created before.

that's boring.

God created us as relational beings,

and we need more than just ourselves to make real magic happen in this world.

so i now have 5 more people in my life, 5 more sources of creativity & magic.

Introducing: PASH10

what is PASH10?

i realized that, while i'm good at setting goals -- and, often, at meeting them -- i haven't demonstrated a proficiency in thematic goals. it seems many of my goals are short-sighted & don't adhere to a greater strategy.

this year, i named a theme of what i would like to develop in my life over the coming 365 days.

that theme is passion.

passion in my marriage, my faith, my relationships, my interests, my work, my studies, my interactions, and just the way i live my life overall.

a note on my habit history: as great as a concept something may be & as sincere as i am in my planning, i easily get distracted & realize several months later that i had committed to something which i have not done.

so i came up with a way i could remember this theme.

PASH10 stands for the following:

Peaceful

And

Stirred-up

Hope

2010

how do i define "passion"?

passion is often confused with insanity or overzealousness. but passion is child-like, not childish. true passion is focused energy, intense movement, contagious and inclusive creativity. it expands beyond its original intentions, and it ignites other blazes along the way. it is not destructive, except that it tears down walls, messes with stagnant traditions, digs up ruts, and breaks unnecessary rules.

when released, passion cannot be deconstructed or contained. it burns within all of us, but many of us have grown apathetic or disillusioned to its presence.

why PASH10?

i confess i am one of the apathetic people. i live life & love life, but i find myself hypnotized by the allure of comfort, convenience, and security. if someone were to ask me what makes me excited, i'm not sure i could give a consistent, honest answer.

this year is about discovering that answer & putting it into practice for the rest of my life. i'm setting mini-goals & self-dares to get myself unstuck & invigorated.

and i'm pretty terrified. you know, in that can't-wait-but-not-sure-what-i'm-getting-myself-into kind of way.

what do cottonwood blessings have to do with PASH10?

cottonwood blessings address both the "Peaceful" & the "Stirred-up" in the title. cottonwood came to me as a peaceful reassurance, a grounded & stabilizing encouragement of God's goodness & grace. and it came on stirred-up wind, movement that flowed & changed directions, inviting me to join with it. and "Hope" is the motivation, the goal, & the message.

in essence, then, cottonwood blessings are a complete physical demonstration of PASH10.

so, what's to come?

the blog entries that will follow throughout 2010 will be about my adventures in developing passion. it's an accountability thing, as well as a log of what i've gone through to live life in a more real way.

here's to an uncomfortable, inconvenient, insecure new year!