Introducing: PASH10

what is PASH10?

i realized that, while i'm good at setting goals -- and, often, at meeting them -- i haven't demonstrated a proficiency in thematic goals. it seems many of my goals are short-sighted & don't adhere to a greater strategy.

this year, i named a theme of what i would like to develop in my life over the coming 365 days.

that theme is passion.

passion in my marriage, my faith, my relationships, my interests, my work, my studies, my interactions, and just the way i live my life overall.

a note on my habit history: as great as a concept something may be & as sincere as i am in my planning, i easily get distracted & realize several months later that i had committed to something which i have not done.

so i came up with a way i could remember this theme.

PASH10 stands for the following:

Peaceful

And

Stirred-up

Hope

2010

how do i define "passion"?

passion is often confused with insanity or overzealousness. but passion is child-like, not childish. true passion is focused energy, intense movement, contagious and inclusive creativity. it expands beyond its original intentions, and it ignites other blazes along the way. it is not destructive, except that it tears down walls, messes with stagnant traditions, digs up ruts, and breaks unnecessary rules.

when released, passion cannot be deconstructed or contained. it burns within all of us, but many of us have grown apathetic or disillusioned to its presence.

why PASH10?

i confess i am one of the apathetic people. i live life & love life, but i find myself hypnotized by the allure of comfort, convenience, and security. if someone were to ask me what makes me excited, i'm not sure i could give a consistent, honest answer.

this year is about discovering that answer & putting it into practice for the rest of my life. i'm setting mini-goals & self-dares to get myself unstuck & invigorated.

and i'm pretty terrified. you know, in that can't-wait-but-not-sure-what-i'm-getting-myself-into kind of way.

what do cottonwood blessings have to do with PASH10?

cottonwood blessings address both the "Peaceful" & the "Stirred-up" in the title. cottonwood came to me as a peaceful reassurance, a grounded & stabilizing encouragement of God's goodness & grace. and it came on stirred-up wind, movement that flowed & changed directions, inviting me to join with it. and "Hope" is the motivation, the goal, & the message.

in essence, then, cottonwood blessings are a complete physical demonstration of PASH10.

so, what's to come?

the blog entries that will follow throughout 2010 will be about my adventures in developing passion. it's an accountability thing, as well as a log of what i've gone through to live life in a more real way.

here's to an uncomfortable, inconvenient, insecure new year!

weeding

i've been thinking a lot about weeds,
particularly the ones in the parable of the sower.
in the first two scenarios the seeds didn't really get much of a chance:
birds ate 'em or the sun scorched 'em because they didn't really have good roots.

but in the third scenario,
the weeds,
the seeds were able to burrow down & begin to grow.

their success was compromised not by the soil but by the setting.

had they not succumbed to the distractions, temptations, & life worries,
they would have flourished.
and that is what sticks with me.

how much of my growth is compromised by my setting & its effect on me?
what are the weeds that twist around & choke out the life developing within me?

i've been thinking about weeds so i can get better at identifying them,
so i can find better soil & become a tree.

un-compartmentalizing

here's my geek moment of the day:
i was looking at the word "Goals" & realized that if you put the a & l closer to each other...
...it says "Gods".
(which i interpreted to be "God's".)

so here's why i allowed that thought to take up more than a nanosecond of my time:
i have a tendency to keep things separate.
i would set my goals for the day, week, month, year, whatever,
and then i'd think,
"oh, i should really include God somewhere in there."

so i'd give Him a goal just for Him.
and keep the rest mine.

so today, looking at my goals for 2009, i thought to myself,
"have i included God in all of them?
after all, i am His child, and i'm totally wacko in love with Him.
why wouldn't i make sure that He's part of these?"

since i couldn't find an answer to that last question, i'm praying over the goals to make sure they're in line with my loving Daddy's leading.

happy new year to you all,
and best wishes on setting your 2009 Goals!

garden talk

gardening isn't really my thing.
still, i'm fascinated by the thought of mulching.
being able to use the refuse of plants to produce new & healthy plants is so ingenious to me.

and as i ponder this,
i realize that my Gardener is in the business of mulching.
because i've got a ton of refuse that i've accumulated from

• poor choices
• shameful actions
• skeletons in the closet

and i often don't think anything good can come out of that stuff.

it's a good thing God disagrees with me.
it's a good thing He composts my past & mulches it up to make my present & future beautiful.
the past doesn't get eradicated --
it is made functional for His purposes.

jessica jessica, how does your garden grow?
with lots of loving mulching that i can't do on my own.

tidings of joy & suffering

i find it fascinating that this is a season of both
gladness
&
sorrow.

for some, there is gratitude for the gift of life & the opportunity to share all that it means.
for others, there is dread of the stress & sense of inadequacy the commercialized holidays bring out.
for even others, there is a depression that sets in from loss, loneliness, & lethargy.

to reduce/eliminate the holiday blues,
we don't send Christmas cards.
we don't have a brag-worthy nativity scene (we don't have one at all, actually).
we do decorate with lots of light.
we don't go to every holiday party we're invited to if we're tired or just need time alone.
we do have candles & scents that remind us that this is a special time.
we do make time to connect with others & share our thankfulness.


we only include elements into our celebration that make this a joyous occasion.

i want to wish everyone blessings during this month of hope,
and rest amongst the insanity.

breathe in the color,
transcend the chaos,
and feel the deep calm that the Gift of Christmas brings to us.

peace.

another gift

today, i discovered the trees outside my office building are cottonwood.

the mouth trap

as i read through proverbs,
there is a lot of attention paid to the mess our mouths can get us in.

gossip, complaining, breaking confidences, & just being stupid,
it's all mentioned on the "avoid" list.

but, gosh, it's so hard to break those habits!

i've been trying to cut down on my negative word quota,
and i'm finding it would be a whole lot easier if it weren't for having other people around.
instant popularity is not found in saying,
"no thanks, i'm not into talking about other people in a slanderous manner."

however, my outlook is improving as i pipe up with thankfulness.
at the risk of sounding pollyannaish,
i'm looking on the brightside because it's a heck of a lot more attractive.

God rewards those who follow His advice.
i'm working to make my words more attractive to Him.
who wants to join me?

leaning on that which stands on its own

it's tough to keep track of what i depend on.
i have a list of plans:
plan a, plan b, plan c...
always something to back up the plan preceding it so i don't feel "out of control".

but these plans are really only illusions,
and this gets shoved in my face as often as God remembers to show love to me.

He doesn't like me depending on anything other than Him,
and rightly so:
there is nothing outside of Him that can stand on its own.

when i trust in something that lacks a proven perfect track record --
which seems to be everything, last i checked
-- i set myself up to be let down.

my Daddy disciplines those He loves.
not just when we mess up, but when we need to learn self-discipline.
the fruit of the Spirit, self-control.
He loves me & hurts when i choose another thing to lean on.
something inferior to Him.
how illogical to lean on something less dependable, eh?

so today i'm declaring that i'm going to put my trust in what works.
want to join me?
(hint: it's not money or career.)

the myth of achieving happiness

when i would ask my clients what they wished to accomplish through therapy,
many shrugged & said half-jokingly,
"to be happy."
it was hard to share in the joke;
happiness doesn't really lend itself to creating a clinical treatment plan.

this is why:
happiness is a byproduct of other things, not an end result in itself.

people want it, but we cannot achieve it if it's what we're pursuing.

i heard a pastor on the radio yesterday remind us of what we should pursue:
a life of gratefulness.
giving thanks at all times,
not just in the good ones.

if we are followers of Jesus,
our lives should show a steady stream of thanksgiving.
bitterness & complaining are not becoming characteristics for His kids.

sure, there are times when things suck,
just like i mentioned a few posts ago.
and we don't have to pretend that everything is rosy when it isn't.
God didn't ask us to be blind, naive, or inept.
but as we pray on our circumstances let's give thanks for what IS working right now & what may come as a result of tough times.

happiness will escape our grasp when we reach for it,
but thankfulness leads us into joy & peace by its very nature.

trees & such

i've been working with a friend on creating a film piece on trees.
God really seemed to have an affinity to that metaphor.
we're finding that we do, too.

the trees of our Lord are sturdy & dependable,
and they are dependent on Him for life & sustenance.
they don't run out of fruit -- ever!
and, gosh, does He ever love & care for them.

we're excited to make this piece to share His love of trees with others in His forest.
in the meantime,
let's all take a break & ask if we're really sticking to His job description for His trees.