days #15-#18

three-day weekends throw me for a loop.

when i was younger, a day off meant VACATION!

now, it means having more time for organizing, errand-running, & homework.

my to-do list for today looks nothing like a passion-igniter.

but yesterday's message at our church certainly was.

after talking about how our small expectations can get in the way of God actually creating something awesome --

or, at least, get in the way of us appreciating it

-- pastor john challenged us to consider some questions during reflection time.

the last one was the one that got me:

what "small" dream do you need to kill off to make way for the big plans God has for you?

ouch.

i am notorious for planning first, then asking God what He thinks later.

and my dreams are often selfish.

so to be faced with a question asking what artery-clogging agent i am clinging to that is keeping the blood flowing to the right places...

well, needless to say i had an unexpected, uncomfortable about-face right then & there.

it's contradictory to say,

"i believe God has the best in mind for me,"

then go make my own plans & get angry at Him when He intervenes.

and my passion is squelched when i take it all into my own hands.

so i used the reflection time to do some serious open heart surgery.

i want those arteries cleaned out so my heart pumps clearly & in rhythm with Daddy's song for my life.

today, amongst the errand-running & such,

i'm making time to offer up dreams for the killing.

i know if He takes one, He'll replace it with something better.

He always has & always will.

and He is where true passion starts.

un-compartmentalizing

here's my geek moment of the day:
i was looking at the word "Goals" & realized that if you put the a & l closer to each other...
...it says "Gods".
(which i interpreted to be "God's".)

so here's why i allowed that thought to take up more than a nanosecond of my time:
i have a tendency to keep things separate.
i would set my goals for the day, week, month, year, whatever,
and then i'd think,
"oh, i should really include God somewhere in there."

so i'd give Him a goal just for Him.
and keep the rest mine.

so today, looking at my goals for 2009, i thought to myself,
"have i included God in all of them?
after all, i am His child, and i'm totally wacko in love with Him.
why wouldn't i make sure that He's part of these?"

since i couldn't find an answer to that last question, i'm praying over the goals to make sure they're in line with my loving Daddy's leading.

happy new year to you all,
and best wishes on setting your 2009 Goals!