As I've spent time in authentic community - something I avoided for years out of fear of being known - I have started to see how the Spirit has re-sensitized me. Or perhaps there is no "re-"; perhaps it's for the first time.
For example, today I experienced a frustration, and I thought through a careful reaction & implemented it. But I still felt lousy about it, despite the tactfulness I was so fastidious to apply. And then I realized why my spirit wasn't at peace: It was because I hadn't gone to the Spirit first to get my feelings in check & my perspective adjusted. I had done it "in the flesh", to borrow an old-school churchy term.
I guess I see my prayers as a battery that has tons of corrosion that has built up on its ends from slow leaks. Some energy still gets through from time to time, but it's more the exception than the rule. The easiest thing is to toss the whole mess out & just say, "Screw it all." But my loving Daddy has given me this new chance to let Him chisel away at the muck, replenishing the juice inside and giving my terminal a polished sheen so all the volts can get through.
And I couldn't do it on my own, because prayer is just a transaction when I'm on the go. When no one is holding me accountable, I tend to just present a list of wants, sorries, and sometimes a thank-you. But being around others who are conversing with God gets me to the relationship part, which is really what prayer is about anyway. I'm sensitized & charged up & ready to connect.
4.01.2015
3.30.2015
Eating Hands
My kiddos are adorable, but not brilliant. At least, not yet. When I go to nurse their hungry little 4-month-old mouths, I often find they have preemptively shoved a fist into it. In an effort to sate their appetite, they find something that works in a tactile way but not nutritionally.
If only they knew to wait! That their mama is equipped and happy to provide them with what they need to thrive!
And yet I do this so often with my own loving Daddy. I'm hungry, desiring something that could very well be good for me, but before He meets that hunger I stuff my face (figuratively) with something inadequate, but something I can control.
In time, my boys will learn to keep their hands out of the way when it comes time to eat, just as their older sister eventually did. I pray that I will, too.
~Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare.~
Isaiah 55:2
If only they knew to wait! That their mama is equipped and happy to provide them with what they need to thrive!
And yet I do this so often with my own loving Daddy. I'm hungry, desiring something that could very well be good for me, but before He meets that hunger I stuff my face (figuratively) with something inadequate, but something I can control.
In time, my boys will learn to keep their hands out of the way when it comes time to eat, just as their older sister eventually did. I pray that I will, too.
~Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare.~
Isaiah 55:2
3.19.2015
Should You Stay or Should You Go?
Okay, this one may hurt. Loving Daddy, let any wounds that result be trusted as those of a friend (Proverbs 27:6) & as those of Your truth.
Earlier this year, we were discussing in Milkweed our theme verse/passage for 2015. Mine is justice, specifically as it relates to the "fast" described in Isaiah 58:6-12. As I've been meditating on this, the Spirit has been redefining my perception of oppression & justice: It's not just about slavery, the homeless, minorities, & other headlines in the news, although all of those require us to take action & show love.
In particular, the oppression & justice I am becoming personally aware of is in our relationship with money. One area this is especially evident to us as moms is in our perspective on working for a paycheck.
When I was about to go on maternity leave, my coworkers were certain I would return. As one pointed out to me, "There is no way these days to raise a family on one income." Know what is missing in that statement? Faith. Or, more specifically, our Provider. And yet, so many of us live our lives as though this is an area He somehow lost control over. As soon as things get tight & the checks may start bouncing, we - and I've done this too! - immediately start browsing Indeed.com or checking for gigs on Craigslist.
What few of us do first is be still & ask Daddy what He wants out of this time of scarcity. Is it a chance for complete dependence on Him, an opportunity to see His faithfulness in tangible ways, through the sacrifice of our [false] sense of control? Or does He truly want us to return to the workforce at this time, to contribute financially to our family's bottom line? He has created you & has a plan for you. For some of us, that means working; for others, that means staying at home. But we must not get His long-term plan confused with our short-term circumstances, no matter how anxiety-inducing they may be.
So, how will we know if we're in His plan? If there is Divine peace in our decision. (FYI: He provides for the working mama & the SAHM alike!)
If you're facing this quandary, I don't know the answer for you. I do know you need to be asking God what He wants & listening for His answer. It's easy to try to solve the problem through our own common sense & elbow grease, but if He wants you at home with your kiddo(s) and you're making a paycheck or sitting in a classroom, your role as both mom & His daughter will be impacted...as will your children & your marriage.
The Spirit can set you free to have a fruitful relationship with & healthy perspective on money. What you give your kiddos, your partners, & the Lord will be returned to you & then some - as long as it is given in obedience & faith.
~Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.~
Luke 6:38
Earlier this year, we were discussing in Milkweed our theme verse/passage for 2015. Mine is justice, specifically as it relates to the "fast" described in Isaiah 58:6-12. As I've been meditating on this, the Spirit has been redefining my perception of oppression & justice: It's not just about slavery, the homeless, minorities, & other headlines in the news, although all of those require us to take action & show love.
In particular, the oppression & justice I am becoming personally aware of is in our relationship with money. One area this is especially evident to us as moms is in our perspective on working for a paycheck.
When I was about to go on maternity leave, my coworkers were certain I would return. As one pointed out to me, "There is no way these days to raise a family on one income." Know what is missing in that statement? Faith. Or, more specifically, our Provider. And yet, so many of us live our lives as though this is an area He somehow lost control over. As soon as things get tight & the checks may start bouncing, we - and I've done this too! - immediately start browsing Indeed.com or checking for gigs on Craigslist.
What few of us do first is be still & ask Daddy what He wants out of this time of scarcity. Is it a chance for complete dependence on Him, an opportunity to see His faithfulness in tangible ways, through the sacrifice of our [false] sense of control? Or does He truly want us to return to the workforce at this time, to contribute financially to our family's bottom line? He has created you & has a plan for you. For some of us, that means working; for others, that means staying at home. But we must not get His long-term plan confused with our short-term circumstances, no matter how anxiety-inducing they may be.
So, how will we know if we're in His plan? If there is Divine peace in our decision. (FYI: He provides for the working mama & the SAHM alike!)
If you're facing this quandary, I don't know the answer for you. I do know you need to be asking God what He wants & listening for His answer. It's easy to try to solve the problem through our own common sense & elbow grease, but if He wants you at home with your kiddo(s) and you're making a paycheck or sitting in a classroom, your role as both mom & His daughter will be impacted...as will your children & your marriage.
The Spirit can set you free to have a fruitful relationship with & healthy perspective on money. What you give your kiddos, your partners, & the Lord will be returned to you & then some - as long as it is given in obedience & faith.
~Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.~
Luke 6:38
2.28.2015
The Power of Relaxing
So I was driving home this evening from taking my 3 sick kiddos & under-the-weather self to see my dad off to his flight back to Hungary, and I heard an interview with DJ Dan Deacon. In honor of the end of this week of rest in Milkweed, read this excerpt & prepare to have your brain shifted a bit!
"I was doing what I thought was relaxing, but was actually just killing time: I was on Facebook. And a friend of mine posted a video from the Toronto Film Festival of Bill Murray talking about his approach to acting — or his philosophy about life, I guess. And it just completely blew me away, because he said, 'Whatever your job is, the more relaxed you are, the better you are.'
And to me this was just like, 'What are you talking about? I forgot that word even existed!' Because I very much was a person who was motivated by stress; I would use a deadline as a motivator. I think a lot of people do that, where they're like, 'I'll just wait until the last minute, and that'll light a fire underneath me and I'll get it done.' And I just kept thinking, 'Well, that's a terrible way to live. Why am I building a house and lighting a fire in the basement just to see if I can finish the roof before it burns down my whole house?'
I started realizing how important it is to truly relax, and in relaxing, to be bored. You have to be bored. If you're not bored, your mind is never gonna wander, and if your mind never wanders, you're never gonna get lost in thought, and you're never gonna find yourself thinking things you wouldn't have otherwise thought."
-Dan Deacon
"I was doing what I thought was relaxing, but was actually just killing time: I was on Facebook. And a friend of mine posted a video from the Toronto Film Festival of Bill Murray talking about his approach to acting — or his philosophy about life, I guess. And it just completely blew me away, because he said, 'Whatever your job is, the more relaxed you are, the better you are.'
And to me this was just like, 'What are you talking about? I forgot that word even existed!' Because I very much was a person who was motivated by stress; I would use a deadline as a motivator. I think a lot of people do that, where they're like, 'I'll just wait until the last minute, and that'll light a fire underneath me and I'll get it done.' And I just kept thinking, 'Well, that's a terrible way to live. Why am I building a house and lighting a fire in the basement just to see if I can finish the roof before it burns down my whole house?'
I started realizing how important it is to truly relax, and in relaxing, to be bored. You have to be bored. If you're not bored, your mind is never gonna wander, and if your mind never wanders, you're never gonna get lost in thought, and you're never gonna find yourself thinking things you wouldn't have otherwise thought."
-Dan Deacon
2.12.2015
The Consequences of Cleansing
God loves object lessons. Just look at the Old Testament prophets & how He had them deliver important messages to kings! So here's what He taught me last night. Does this make me royalty?
Bob & I had a much-needed date night last night (with the boys), so we went to an inexpensive family restaurant with his birthday money & pigged out. I ate portions & food I haven't had in years. And last night, when I attempted to digest it all, my body told me that was a bad idea. I had so well cleansed myself & re-sensitized myself with a recent fast, healthy eating, etc., that this old way of doing things was clogging me up & making me sick. It's going to take a while to get back to stasis!
And as I pondered this, gripping my tummy in bed and wincing, I thought of a movie that is being released this weekend that is jamming up my news feed with controversy. And I thought of how, as we draw closer to our loving Daddy & perfect Master during this time, indulging in entertainment, habits, & activities that once brought us delight could now clog us up because of our increased sensitivity to junk. Granted, Christian movie critics will see this film, and sociologists who love Jesus will buy tickets to evaluate it as a trend in our culture. But this is not Schindler's List - the violence & distastefulness in it doesn't serve a noble purpose, and I have yet to see a compelling reason for many of us to show up to the theaters.
Ultimately, your choice of what to select off the menu is yours. The New Testament tells us the good news about liberty instead of legalism, thanks to Jesus setting us free from the law! But I encourage you, if you don't want to be sick after a time of cleansing, be careful, little eyes, what you see - it will affect you more in your new season than it would at another time. And that is God's gift to you!
Bob & I had a much-needed date night last night (with the boys), so we went to an inexpensive family restaurant with his birthday money & pigged out. I ate portions & food I haven't had in years. And last night, when I attempted to digest it all, my body told me that was a bad idea. I had so well cleansed myself & re-sensitized myself with a recent fast, healthy eating, etc., that this old way of doing things was clogging me up & making me sick. It's going to take a while to get back to stasis!
And as I pondered this, gripping my tummy in bed and wincing, I thought of a movie that is being released this weekend that is jamming up my news feed with controversy. And I thought of how, as we draw closer to our loving Daddy & perfect Master during this time, indulging in entertainment, habits, & activities that once brought us delight could now clog us up because of our increased sensitivity to junk. Granted, Christian movie critics will see this film, and sociologists who love Jesus will buy tickets to evaluate it as a trend in our culture. But this is not Schindler's List - the violence & distastefulness in it doesn't serve a noble purpose, and I have yet to see a compelling reason for many of us to show up to the theaters.
Ultimately, your choice of what to select off the menu is yours. The New Testament tells us the good news about liberty instead of legalism, thanks to Jesus setting us free from the law! But I encourage you, if you don't want to be sick after a time of cleansing, be careful, little eyes, what you see - it will affect you more in your new season than it would at another time. And that is God's gift to you!
12.27.2014
Pushing Together or Pulling Apart
One of the great things in life is how we change & our interests evolve. This can be great for our marriages...or it can pull you apart if you don't work to include one another in those developments. It's so easy to believe the lie, "We just aren't compatible anymore," but that doesn't jive with God's definition of marriage. Growth in us can bring growth in our relationships when we don't just focus on ourselves!
Do you feel like you've grown apart from your spouse? Take a moment to intentionally tune into his interests, and - even if he couldn't care less about social psychology studies or babywearing or making your own cleaning products - God will honor your efforts and bring healing to you in His way & in His time.
Do you feel like you've grown apart from your spouse? Take a moment to intentionally tune into his interests, and - even if he couldn't care less about social psychology studies or babywearing or making your own cleaning products - God will honor your efforts and bring healing to you in His way & in His time.
12.26.2014
Redeemed Parenting
When you come from a background where your parents' parenting was ineffective (or worse), it can be a real worry that you will repeat their legacy. The great news is that when we have an active, grace-filled relationship with our loving Daddy, He enters in & rewrites the story! But we desperately need to be in community, humbly listening to others & accepting wisdom where we are lacking. This doesn't mean we take every piece of unsolicited advice that comes our way, but rather we use discernment to recognize that God brings us together as a Body to raise His precious little ones!
12.01.2014
Welcome to the World
On a personal note, I had twins yesterday. The two boys join their daddy & sister in our wacky home. Off to cocoon for a few hours & bask in this double joy...
~A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.~
John 16:21
~A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.~
John 16:21
11.14.2014
Milkweed Turns 1 Year Old, Isn't Moldy Yet
It's hard to believe my Milkweed family of mamas has been meeting online & in person for over a year! What a tremendous community our loving Daddy has brought together here to pray, encourage, laugh, challenge, & grow.
Some have asked how this group started, and I thought I'd be a bit transparent here. Last year, my marriage was going through some really hard stuff. I was desperate for other ladies to pray with me, lift me up, hold me accountable, speak truth to me, but I realized how spiritually isolated I had become as a stay-at-home mama. As usual, though, God had something beautiful to pull out of that manure, and He put this challenge on my heart:
"There are other mamas like you out there who are hurting, lonely, or just in need of others to walk beside them honestly & humbly in this journey. They, too, struggle to find a place where they - & their kiddos - can fit. It's time for community."
Around this time, I visited the Desert Botanical Gardens in Phoenix & learned about milkweed, the plant that monarch butterflies live in & live off of. It houses & nourishes these butterflies, and it makes them poisonous to predators. That is what Godly community, prayer, & Bible study does! And so, our group Milkweed was born, out of the manure of pain & confusion & isolation. I don't think I knew anyone at our first meeting, yet it was amazing how open & supportive they all were with one another from that day & all those since. What a life-changing adventure!
Of course, this story isn't about me. This is God's story. He is the Protagonist, the Narrator, the Editor. He is the Gardener, the Grafter, the Vinekeeper. And I'm so grateful to be with these ladies in this mess of life, this Milkweed, that He has used to strengthen our marriages, heal our hearts, & lay foundations for Jesus-loving kiddos! All praise be to Him for this year & those to come!
~Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up [her] fellow. But woe to [her] who is alone when [she] falls and has not another to lift [her] up!~
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Some have asked how this group started, and I thought I'd be a bit transparent here. Last year, my marriage was going through some really hard stuff. I was desperate for other ladies to pray with me, lift me up, hold me accountable, speak truth to me, but I realized how spiritually isolated I had become as a stay-at-home mama. As usual, though, God had something beautiful to pull out of that manure, and He put this challenge on my heart:
"There are other mamas like you out there who are hurting, lonely, or just in need of others to walk beside them honestly & humbly in this journey. They, too, struggle to find a place where they - & their kiddos - can fit. It's time for community."
Around this time, I visited the Desert Botanical Gardens in Phoenix & learned about milkweed, the plant that monarch butterflies live in & live off of. It houses & nourishes these butterflies, and it makes them poisonous to predators. That is what Godly community, prayer, & Bible study does! And so, our group Milkweed was born, out of the manure of pain & confusion & isolation. I don't think I knew anyone at our first meeting, yet it was amazing how open & supportive they all were with one another from that day & all those since. What a life-changing adventure!
Of course, this story isn't about me. This is God's story. He is the Protagonist, the Narrator, the Editor. He is the Gardener, the Grafter, the Vinekeeper. And I'm so grateful to be with these ladies in this mess of life, this Milkweed, that He has used to strengthen our marriages, heal our hearts, & lay foundations for Jesus-loving kiddos! All praise be to Him for this year & those to come!
~Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up [her] fellow. But woe to [her] who is alone when [she] falls and has not another to lift [her] up!~
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
11.02.2014
Sharing Victories
Lately, God has been speaking to me a lot about redemption. What a sweet word that is! What awesomeness to contemplate! Our loving Daddy grinds up all our poop into manure that grows beauty & life!
We must share regularly with each other & with our kiddos about how God has redeemed us, all His mighty works in our own lives. Psalm 78:5-8 talks about how these reminders will keep our children from becoming rebellious against God. What a gift to us both: Sharing God's victories in our lives with them so they can learn & stay faithful, seeing His victories in their own lives!
Let's tell each other the almighty works of our redemptive Daddy who is greater than our pasts & creates new futures out of poop!
~We will not hide them from their children,
but tell to the coming generation
the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might,
and the wonders that he has done.~
Psalm 78:4
We must share regularly with each other & with our kiddos about how God has redeemed us, all His mighty works in our own lives. Psalm 78:5-8 talks about how these reminders will keep our children from becoming rebellious against God. What a gift to us both: Sharing God's victories in our lives with them so they can learn & stay faithful, seeing His victories in their own lives!
Let's tell each other the almighty works of our redemptive Daddy who is greater than our pasts & creates new futures out of poop!
~We will not hide them from their children,
but tell to the coming generation
the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might,
and the wonders that he has done.~
Psalm 78:4
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