day #94

coming out from under a dark cloud.

my passion has been tested & refined during the past few months,

and i'm happy to say that i'm starting to see it again.

and this time, it's version 2.0!

i've come to recognize that my core values & strengths were not aligned with my behavior.

my energy was being diffused by activities & investments that were incongruent.

so i've taken some time to reacquaint myself with my "core",

and the plan is to work from there rather than take on whatever comes my way.

this year, passion is about authenticity.

it does me no good to go outside of who my Creator intended me to be:

• it depletes my energy
• it stunts my growth
• it hurts others close to me
• it gets really confusing

this morning, i sat down & wrote about my core.

i identified that i love to create, produce, encourage, research, collaborate, & delegate

(among many other things).

i also wrote down what i don't love:

things like detailed attention to financial responsibilities & engaging in mundane activities that lack challenge.

sure, we'll still have to be fiscally disciplined,

but now i can admit that i have interests & abilities in other areas which i'd like to pursue.

that holds promise, rather than a dead end.

i'm feeling energized this morning in a way i haven't in months.

i'm grateful for this Divine surge of excitement about possibilities & alignment.

being me:

it's less work, with greater rewards.

day #12

i decided to inconvenience myself today.

being someone who arranges grocery bags so everything can get carried in on one trip,

plots out maps so all errands can be run in one linear course,

and arranges my schedule to make room for surprises,

i don't allow space for inconvenience.

so i suppose i was due some.

the call came as i prepared to tackle a new data analysis project:

i was needed to assist with proctoring an exam.

this had not been in my schedule, and so i thought about my options:

being that this was an inconvenience for me, perhaps we should find a time when it would be more convenient &, therefore, comfortable.

but then i remembered why i do this job.

it's not about my sense of security;

it's about helping young people discover their passion.

why would i squash that because i had my own to-do list?

so i chose to be inconvenienced,

gathering all my items with me to take to the exam room.

(i wouldn't want to have to make a second trip because i forgot something.)

the student & i sat down,

she with her exam,

i without enough space to work on my project while waiting for her.

and i was uncharacteristically grateful for that,

because i would not have planned it that way.

when she finished, she smiled & thanked me several times.

i sincerely told her it was my pleasure.

i remembered my passion for my job today.

it came from getting out of my routine & actually looking at why i was there.